Speeches, New Blog and ?...

Hi, Everyone.

Wow! Some amazing comments were posted in the last few days. I hadn't looked because I was preoccupied with finding things for my mom to do and getting more stuff done around the house that I didn't get to before people started to arrive. I'm making progress in more ways than one. Each of us deals with grief differently. I'm trying to keep busy, trying not to think about it. Typical guy fashion, maybe. I can't escape, of course, but I can often deflect a line of thinking. Thank goodness for ADD...

Anyway, I'm rearranging and reclaiming the master bedroom closet and master bath. Moving in, changing things around. Doing the same thing for Jack's closet; changing it from a parent's closet for a toddler to a boy's closet he can access himself. I like the IKEA system I installed a few years back. You can add drawers, bars, shelfs--- whatever.

I'm catching up on the weeding and gardening, with Mother's assistance. We went to the downtown Flower Mart yesterday and ended up bringing back a bunch of live plants.
Put them in the ground in the afternoon...

I worked today for a few hours today and have more scheduled in the next few days. I'll probably work six days a week, at least part-time, until I catch up.

Jack is about as normal as can be. Nothing much is different, but he gets anxious if he can't find me, like if I'm out in the garage or in the front yard. I'm making an effort to let him know where I am, but I am nothing if not impulsive, so even I can't predict where I'll be in 5 minutes.

I changed our outgoing message today, the one that used to say "Stan, Andrea and Jack". Now it just says "Stan and Jack". You can still hear Andrea's voice if you call her cell phone. I haven't done anything about that, but her company will no doubt be canceling that before long. I'll probably sell her Iphone, so if anyone wants it, let me know. And speaking of selling, I'm planning a garage sale on Saturday the 9th.

I have gone so far as to create a new blog site (http://stan-n-jack.blogspot.com/)
because "updateonAndrea" will seem less and less appropriate as time passes. I haven't posted a thing there, but will sometime in the next few days. maybe I can get a decent picture of the two of us, but don't count on it.

That's it for the moment. We're off to pick Jack up from school in five minutes. Maybe go the Y or the park afterward.

Love to all you wonderful people (but stop making me out to be some Hero)

S


================== Speeches received so far =============


Wendy Wahman

I used to call Andrea The Peasant... for her inherent physical strength. She didn't work out a day in her life, or not what a jockette like me would call a workout. When I met her she had a t-shirt business and I had come in to order shirts for the company I worked for 20 years ago.. She'd hoist and carry these huge boxes of T-shirts – 6 dozen in a box I think it was. We fell in love. Or should I say, fell in 'laugh?' We talked on the phone every night. I'd lay on my back on the floor with my legs on the bed - the best place to be when you're going to spend the next hour laughing too hard to sit upright. We started a catalog tshirt/mug/apron/card business with my art. Mailing lists, the tedium of addressing and sorting for bulk mailing, the thrill of a call or written order for shirts. We had a blast. She was the best business partner I've ever had. And we just got closer as friends.


But I was talking about her strength. One time we all (me, Joe, Andrea & Stan) drove to the Grand Canyon. Blistering hot. She hated camping, I think she and Stan ended up sleeping in the car with the heater on and off all night. But next day she walked down and up the grand canyon. In new boots. Carrying a delicious deli lunch for us for a picnic at the bottom. I can still see her, one horse strong foot in front of the other, climbing up that long hot trail. Stan with her every step of the way. Did I mention she was strong? Did I tell you how much Stan loved Andrea?


Actually, I did drag her to the gym once - mostly to check out the mexican aerobics teacher Victor, who I had a crush on. She warned me that sit ups cracked her up – ever since jr. high gym class where she and Steph would hold each others feet, intently watching each others faces for a little grunt. That little extra exhale that would inevitably send them rolling on the floor in hysterics. Busted by the gym teacher. Right. Guess what we did at the gym? I took great pains not to grunt, but no matter, we ended up as laughing balls on the rubber mat. Oh, she thought Victor was way cute too.


Andrea laughed like no one I have ever known. She brought light and happiness into a room. We all loved to hear her laugh, and then we would laugh, laugh so hard we cried and -- oops -- there's her workout: abs aching! She could get me laughing till I did the silent wheeze... which many of you probably have not heard, cause that only happens when I am in the ultra endorphin range of laughter. When that would happen she'd point at me, eyes dancing eyebrows arched, laughing even harder, and glance at anyone else in the room, like, "look what I did!" Andrea excelled at pointing out what she loved about her friends and family.


And that's how we knew about each other. Stories. She had favorite stories and mini dramas she would tell us about different friends. Not gossip - funny stories or cool intrigues... t-b-continued kind. She loved good news about anything, and it was as if it had happened to her, she would be so proud and happy and say, "I have to call Steph." Or, call out "Stan! ..." then repeat what you had just told her. She couldn't hold it in, she just overflowed, and it made me feel really good. If I would remember someone's name, or their stories, Andrea would quickly say, "Very good." Like she didn't expect me to remember these people or bits, but was surprised and pleased I would remember. But she remembered Everything. Seriously. It was so satisfying to tell her about people and things, she kept the stories like the best gifts ever. I wonder if I would remember many of 'my' stories had she not kept them alive and dancing all these years. Who will tell our stories now? She was our glue. She was my rock.

Stan & Joe were best friends. When Andrea met Joe she knew I would like him. They set up a date for us four to Gorky's, a russian cafeteria in LA at the time. For me it was love at first sight. Joe remembers my big smile, as he got in the car. Andrea and I were in the back seat, squeezing each others hands, making wide eyes and jaw drops... and trying not to giggle like the 33 year old jr. high girls we were. She probably mouthed words like, "I told you." Which would have gotten raised eyebrows and a head shake from me, and lips back: "I can't read lips, Andrea!" Still can't.

Andrea loved dogs. She thought all of them were special and cute. She called them Woos, and when she saw one she'd say, "Woo Alert." On a ski trip to Big Bear, I got kind of grumpy, and I'm not personally of the opinion that ALL dogs need to be pointed out... We were jammed in the car with 6 of us, I think - Gary and Tina went on that trip. Finally I said, "Enough with the woo alert. They are not all Alert worthy, Andrea." I regret saying that now. To her, everyone had something to woo about. In Andrea style though, she was soon asking, 'how about that one, is that one woo worthy?' Wink.


Stan, I can never put into words how grateful I am of how you took care of Andrea. You took care of ALL of us by taking such incredible care of our girl. How you held her hand then gave it a little squeeze or that little hand wiggle thing you do. Andrea was so happy and content with you and Jack. So many times over the last 20 years I'd hear Andrea say, "Stan can do it." And you always did. And then some. She never doubted or questioned her life with you. How many married people can say that?

Steph... like fingers on a hand, so close. More like thumb and index, together to function properly. I always knew when you were on the phone (daily, multiple times), Andrea's voice would sound more like yours. Twin A and Twin B, Andrea and Steph. Steph and Andrea.


Olivia, Andrea wanted so badly to go with your mom to a shop on Melrose to pick you out 'a little something' for your birthday. She is so proud of you.
Harriet; I would do anything to be a little bit of Andrea for you. I'm sure all her girlfriends feel the same. Please know you are not alone, and I'm keeping you close in my thoughts.
Joyce, family and friends: My heart aches with you. Thank you for letting me share my love and grief with you today.

============
Stephanie Sajjadieh

Always Together, Together Forever
Andrea recently reminded me of a particular moment in our lives that seems to stand out for both of us. It happened one day in fifth grade as we were walking to Ivanhoe Elementary School, and Andrea lost count near the intersection of Rowena and Hyperion. It might be important to mention that Andrea used to begin mentally counting as soon as we stepped out of our Evans Street apartment. On this day, we crossed the intersection, just as we did every weekday morning, but a few yards from the streetlight, Andrea stopped, went back to the light, and then continued the walk. It was significant for her because I waited patiently, without question, as she retraced her steps. It was significant for me because although I remember the incident, I have no memory of why it was significant.
But, in a way, this is symbolic of many aspects of our relationship. Much in our lives has been unspoken. There are many reasons for this, but now, I wonder, if perhaps the greatest is because we share a profound understanding that defies articulation. Throughout our lives, people have been fascinated with, even envious of, our being twins. They have attempted to comprehend this unique bond by asking questions such as, “When you are in pain, does you sister feel it, too?” which reduce the complexities of our relationship to a cheap magician’s parlor trick. Because of this marginalization, I have often claimed that anyone with a sister who is close in age and has many shared memories, would feel our particular sensitivities. But I was wrong. Ever since Andrea became ill in 2000, I have had to re-evaluate my answer to that question and many others. No, I can’t possibly feel the physical pain that she has had to endure for over seven years, but the pain that I feel because of this is often unendurable and directly related to our being twins. I don’t have to explain this to Andrea; she understands.
There is still much that goes unspoken between us, but I have noticed in the past year that our conversations have become less guarded. One thing I do know, however: I will never be able to fully express how much I love, admire, and cherish her. But, then again, maybe I don’t have to.

================

Lynne Gullo

Beyond Balderdash

Dinner at the Brothers’ house was always such an exuberant affair. The door between the kitchen and dining room is in constant motion. Jack is either off happily watching “The Incredibles,” or running around in his underwear and cape playing with his friend, Carina. The adults are gathered in the kitchen watching the evening’s effortless meal unfold.
I would marvel at the apparent ease of these meals as I always find it very stressful on the rare occasions I throw a dinner party. But at the Brothers’ house it was a non-event. Andrea would whip something up from “The Silver Palate Cookbook,” “Oh, it only took a few hours.” Or Stan would create one of his Kirkland concoctions. For Andrea and Stan, meals were a bountiful outpouring of their love and teamwork.
The dining room had a life of its own. The Heywood-Wakefield table and chairs, researched and hunted down at Pennylane or an estate sale, long before ebay and craigslist made such treasures readily available. The table, protected by yards of Patagonia water-resistant fabric; Andrea’s plate addiction neatly stacked up in colorful piles. We spent more than one night betting on the fate of a cup and saucer precariously perched in the cabinet before Stan rigged up an ingenious way to rescue them before they hit the ground.


Conversation flowed easily, frequently punctuated by spurts of belly laughs. Andrea had the most amazing memory for stories that made her laugh. “Remember that story Paul Vogelsang told about when Calvin was three?” Calvin is now a senior in high school, so of course you couldn’t remember, but Andrea did! “Remember Gary’s story about the 711 clerk?” “Tell us about when you put the sweaters on your dogs!” Gales of laughter would follow from the best audience anyone could ever ask for—Andrea and Steph.
Inevitably during the dinner, Stan would sneak off to Google something, either at our insistence or to prove a point. I wish I had kept a list of the topics, because they were as random as could be, but always added to the evening’s entertainment.
You could always count on Harriet and Joyce to provide the latest movie reviews and political commentary. Olivia always fit in at the grown-up table, easily conversing about Jane Austen, then catching me up on the latest episodes of “Dawson’s Creek” or “Gossip Girl.”
And then the games would begin. There were a couple of attempts at Texas Hold’em for Stan, but it was the word games that provided the most entertainment.
Boggle proved to be nerve-wracking for some. Wendy and I would look at our list of 12 words, while Stan and Judy rattled off 30. Conversation would end up being repetitive, “I can’t believe I didn’t see that!” and “Good one!” Mentally you’d be vowing to make an eye appointment on Monday.


But it was Balderdash that had the staying power on game nights. Balderdash is a game where you make up the definition for an obscure but real word. One player reads everyone’s definition along with the real one and you vote on which you think is correct. You get points by creating the most believable definition.
We tried Beyond Balderdash on some occasions where you also guessed the plot to a movie, an historical event or a person’s occupation, but it was always Balderdash that brought the most laughs.
This is where Andrea really shined. She took more joy out of your definition than she did of her own. After a while you could guess someone’s writing style. Andrea would pick their definition just because it made her laugh even though she knew it was wrong.
But even after hundreds of rounds of Balderdash, we never got this card: ANDREA A. BROTHERS. My definition would be: Hilarity ensued when this effervescent, courageous redhead embraced you and surrounded you with life’s most important things: family, friendship, love and laughter.
I leave you to write your own definition of Andrea.

=========================


Nancy Friedman

Reflections about Andrea….


I met Andrea and Steph when I was 17 – I had just graduated from High School and was accepted to Pitzer College. Andrea was already a student at Pitzer and we had been set up to meet because her cousin Sue lived across the street from me.

Niether of us really wanted to go – so I dragged my sister and Andrea dragged Steph, my brilliant line when I walked in the door was “Oh are you guys sisters?”. We all laughed, hit it off instantly and were fast friends ever since. It was amazing to reflect that I knew and loved Andrea for exactly 2/3 of my life; we went through so many milestones together. We only lived in the same city (at college) for 1.5 years but the distance never really separated us. All of life’s important happenings – men, love, marriage (hers and then mine), children (mine and hers) careers, aspirations, death of parents, 40th and 50th birthday parties, illness, health and happiness we were able to share them all and be there for each other.

Andrea and I had a lot of fun during college. I remember getting donuts at 2 in the morning (She had a car and I didn’t). How we ate those things I have no idea. Andrea loved to dance and we would go to the Friday night dances. In order to get ready, we would have a bit to drink; neither of us drank much so she would make strawberry daiquiris in a blender, which I thought was quite sophisticated and then we would each have one and then run up and down the hallway to “activate them”.

Andrea took me to Europe for the first time when we were 26 and I can still hear us laughing our way across the countries; there were the looks and pinches from the Italian men, our laughter even when her passport was stolen and when we almost got kicked out of Joyce’s fancy hotel because we were wearing jeans. She also took me to SF for my first time – somehow we found ourselves sleeping on the floor of a dumpy warehouse – but we still had a great time.

Andrea was always there for me, always open to my stories… and as she would say she wanted the “country version” of the story – all the details. Our stories would always begin… Okay the phone rang, then what. She was always proud of me and I was always proud of her.






Andrea taught me a lot – she took me to the Gamble house next door nearly 25 years ago and introduced me to Craftsman architecture and furniture (way before I ended up having a craftsman bungalow of my own). She taught me about photography, art and culture. She introduced me to Europe but also to Pasadena, Glendale and Hollywood and took me to countless restaurants over the years. But the most important thing she taught me was how to live life to the fullest – how to love with all your heart, body and soul. She loved Stan and Jack fiercely in this way, as she did Steph, Olivia, Harriet and Joyce. I think we all felt loved by her in this way – she was able to see the best in each of us, appreciate us for who we really are and help us laugh along the way - - that is way we’re all here!

I feel fortunate that I could count Andrea as one of my closest friends for so long and to have had the opportunity to spend so much time with her these last few months. Andrea was by far the funniest, wittiest, wisest and most generous person I’ve ever known. When I would visit we told our same stories, laughed almost every visit and recalled all the love and fun we had shared. My take away from this entire 10 year experience is to be as brave, generous and loving as she was! Andrea was an amazing person and she graced all of our lives.

I want to end with a Hopi Prayer poem that I’ve always loved and found helpful. I hope you like it too:

HOPI PRAYER

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the daimond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn's rain
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry:
I am not there, I did not die.

She is with us all and when I see beauty or hear laughter, I will think of Andrea.

===============================

Stan’s Speech

I won a speech contest in the 7th grade………but I think I’ve forgotten everything I knew about giving speeches. One thing I do know, though, is that tonight I am surrounded by love, by people who loved Andrea. There are so many special people in this room I am honored to be here…. honored to speak. In a sense I am preaching to the choir, because you know how special Andrea was, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

I’m going to pause for a moment now to do something a little different now, something that is rarely done at funerals or memorial services, I want to take a brief picture. So bear with me if you will.

I took those pictures because I wanted to record this moment. But no camera can record the true picture of what is in this room. The real picture is in the stories of each person here, how she—or he—knew Andrea, and how that person came to love her. Together those stories paint a picture of a person more accurate than any camera could capture. I have my stories, too, because I was the recipient of that love to an extraordinary degree, and that love changed my life in ways too numerous to count. I feel so fortunate and will be forever grateful. I know others are grateful, too. There are two marriages in this room—two happy marriages and one extraordinary boy—that came about because of Andrea’s match-making, because of her desire to see others happy.

I always called her “the nicest person in the world”. In typical Andrea fashion she would say to me, “No, you are” then summon up an example of something trivial I’d done, something she said she wouldn’t think to do.

That made me angry.

Well……almost angry. I couldn’t find words withering enough to mock this absurd claim. An isolated incident is not the same as giving your all to others every waking minute, which she did.

Although I have many stories about Andrea, tonight I will leave the story telling to others. Everything they will say is true, and more. I loved the quote from Judy Spiegel addressing this. Judy said, "You know, you hear people talk at memorials and you think, well, they weren't THAT perfect…..but Andrea was."

Almost.

No, Andrea wasn’t perfect. She was the least co-ordinated person I ever knew. But she tried, and that’s all that matters. She failed in her one attempt at becoming a cheerleader, which is ironic, because in reality she was the world’s best. Absolutely, positively, the world’s best. The Golden Rule or some small variation on it, appears in 21 religions. Treat your neighbor’s gains as our gains; their losses as our losses, and while Andrea was not religious she lived that principle. She was that principle. If a friend lost 2 pounds it was as if she lost ten. I can’t tell you how many times—dozens---DOZENS--when Andrea would be on the phone and I would hear a shriek of joy from the next room and come running, thinking someone something BIG had happened: someone had won a car in a raffle, 10,000 dollars from a Lotto scratch-off card—something BIG…only to hear that Steph got a 200 dollar dress for 25 dollars….or maybe a friend found a salt shaker at a flea market that matched the pepper she already had . After 15 years or so I stopped reacting. I guess I’m a slow learner. She always said I was smart, but we know who the smart one really was. We know who had the intelligence that mattered.

Andrea also had a phenomenal memory until chemo after chemo after chemo reduced that to an ordinary memory. I have to confess that I relied on that memory so much and I am a little panicked tonight because I can forget the name of anyone I don’t see regularly. Even people I love. In the pressure of a moment I will momentarily forget everyone’s name. I briefly forgot Steph’s name in a stressful moment a few years back.

But enough about my shortcomings. We’re here to honor Andrea. I know some people just could not make it tonight, which is unfortunate because they will miss this unforgettable event marking the life of an unforgettable woman.

=================

Diane's Speech

I met Andrea nine years ago in a support group for breast cancer patients. I certainly remember well seeing her face when I walked through the door but she told me later that she knew the moment she laid eyes on me that she wanted to be my friend. I assure you this was a rare lapse in Andrea's usually stellar judge of character but after coming to this decision, she went about making it so. First she planted the seed by saying something cool and subtle like "hey, I really want to be your friend" and then went about nuturing it and tending it until a great friendship blossomed. I went into the group thinking I would get some help coping with nausea and baldness and came out with one of the most profound relationships of my life.

While it may seem that meeting in such a way would darken our times together, I can tell you that the years we shared were as laughter-filled as those enjoyed by friends from her earlier life. There were the frequent dinners including welcoming us into that wonderfully extended American family at Thanksgiving. And there was the talk of shopping and sales and shoes - often shoes and I will never be able to see a cute pair of size elevens without wanting to quickly call Andrea. Perhaps above all was our shared love of "Young Frankenstein" and the lifetime supply of belly laughs found in reciting the same lines over and over. Having gone through breast cancer together, our favorite line was easily "what a pair of knockers (sank you doktor)". Stephanie, it was wonderful sitting at dinner with you and continuing the tradition and don't be surprised if you get phone calls where all you hear on the line is a horse's whinny (followed by prank-call like peels of laughter).

And so the years went by until, sadly, Andrea's ovarian cancer diagnosis sent her back into treatment. I remember one time when our friend Carrie and I visited her during a chemotherapy infusion and of course began telling jokes. I told a particularly dirty joke and we all laughed our way through the session. Several weeks later, I mentioned something about how funny my particularly dirty joke was and Andrea said, "You know Diane, I didn't find it very funny." I asked if she was crazy because she had roared when I told it but she said, "Oh, I laughed that hard because of how funny you thought it was."

So these are the lessons for me and they were made indelible in the past few months. Reach out to people you find intriguing and when a friendship develops, laugh hardest at the things that amuse them. And if all of us who love Andrea would do this more often, wouldn't that be the best possible world for her son Jack to grow up in?

==================

Alison Sonenfeld

I met Harriet, Ira, Stephanie and Andrea when I was around 4 years old. We spent so much time together during our childhood that I really consider them my immediate family.

When I was with Andrea, at any time during her life, she was the same person that I first met when we were little girls. Even at a very young age Andrea had an innate ability to see the details in things and traits in people that were often overlooked by others. She treated people with so much sensitivity.

She also had a great sense of style. I was taking to Steph about this recently...When we were kids we made up with a game of Secret Agents which we usually played in vacant lot next to my house. Not only did Andrea know how to fashion into a cape rivaling Emma Peel’s of the Avenger’s from a tablecloth, but she was also somewhat of a wiz with the Agent gadgetry. The game became more complex over the years. She and Steph brought a collection of small international flags back from a cruise on their way back to the US from Israel. We seized the opportunity to use these flags as everything from weapons ... to telephones ... to transporters ... to instruments that could make us invisible. When I would naively speak into the wrong end of one of these small toothpick-like flags, she was quick to correct me and explain that, actually the little nub on the top was the microphone (or something to that effect). She would describe something like this in a way that made perfect sense to me. So, I quickly learned to defer to her opinions about things like that.

I remember a conversation that took place when we were a bit older that was about the features and benefits of straws. She listed and described straws to me. She analyzed the various features and benefits of each type of straw. She had discovered that there was a vast difference between them. Paper straws collapsed over time when they get wet, rendering them useless. Flexie straws bent in different places depending on the type or brand, etc. She had a great sense of how details matter and a great sense of color and style. I think this served her in her career.

A number of years after that we had a conversation about her friend Danny. I knew Danny through Andrea. I had seen him now and then over a period of about 10 years. He met Andrea at my Mother’s restaurant and he was a regular customer. I saw him at Andrea’s parties a few more times after that. At a time when Dan and I were both available, she came up with the plan that he and I should go out. She let me know that we had quite a bit in common in terms of our senses of humor, our similar outlook on many things. We went out... and then, we were individually debriefed by her the next day ...and so here we are over 20 years later... and I know that we are not the only couple here that she introduced. She was quite the matchmaker! I am so happy that she and Stan found such an ideal match with each other!

Andrea was so funny! I miss her wonderful laugh... and laughing with her. I miss her insights. I listened to her and I valued her opinions. She was a thoughtful person in every sense of the word. I will miss her beyond belief.

================

Liliana Fernandez

Most of the friendships we develop in our lives go through a process prior to forming a strong bond. Though I had only known Andrea for two weeks before giving birth to a beautiful baby boy by the name of Jack, our bond was instant and she was much more than a dear friend to me.
Individuals describe adoption as bittersweet, my experience was far more sweet than bitter and it was because of Andrea’s heart and soul that I felt this way.
I remember our last conversation in Andrea’s room, so much love was shared. She looked at me through teary eyes and said that she could not remember her life before Jack and she thanked me…….I thanked her too.
Despite the outcome, I have no regrets about the decision I made. I believe GOD led me to Andrea for two reason; one was so Jack would have the greatest, most amazing woman I ever could have wished for to be his mother, and two was to give Andrea the best and happiest 5yr. 11 months of her life.
I admired, loved, adored, and respected Andrea and will forever hold her dear to my heart and memories.
Harriet, Steph, and Olivia – Thank you for welcoming me into your lives.
Stan – I want you to know that I share with you the exact same bond I had with Andrea.
I love you and Jack immensely,
Thank you.

Afterglow...

Well, it's done. I made it through. WE made it through. When it was over, when everyone had gone, I sat in the empty room and cried. This chapter is closed on some levels and yet still unfolding on others. Life is not so easily compartmentalized, nor should it be, I guess.

I think the slide show was wonderful, but I didn't see a lot of it. My eyes were closed tight against the tears. Seeing those pictures of a young Andrea were just too much for me. The speeches were great. Each one had some wonderful moments, something unique. I guess I could have spoken longer, Andrea certainly gave me plenty of material to do that, but the length seemed right at the time, so I didn't.

I'm sorry I didn't videotape the event, for Jack if nothing else, but I will collect the speeches and save them for Jack, and that will be almost as good, so speakers please forward your speeches. I'll combine them with comments on the blog and make a wonderful scrapbook for Jack. A number of people who were close to Andrea did not speak, could not. I totally understand. There are things I cannot do, too. Others could not be there because business trips, weddings or something important interfered. No matter. In a perfect world everyone would be there. In a perfect world we'd have a perfect program. In a perfect world I would remember everyone's names (I botched only two last night, which is good, for me) and everything else would be perfection. But we live with the flaws, we have to. If you're Andrea, you just try to.

Thanks again to Linda, Curt and Charlie for the slideshow and display. We had some wonderful flowers and many people to thank for them. CJ Oliverson and husband Steve Moulton schlepped the urns and many other wonderful arrangements from Carpenteria.
We also had fabulous flowers from Harriet's friends Bettina & Blanche; Michael, Kate and Daisy Ross & Markie Post; Theresa Savage, Sharon Rinehart, Anna Torres & Yvonne Taylor. I hope I'm not botching a name or forgetting someone, but possibly I am, so if anyone is unacknowledged or I'm making an error, please let me know and I will make an instant correction.

Thanks to Lisa for finding the caterer and helping out afterwards with clean-up; to Lisa's daughter Natalie who helped Jack get through the evening, to Greg Stanton for the program design. Thanks to all who came from afar...who donated to Jack's college fund or sent a Trader Joes gift card or sent cleaners to our house or who helped in different ways or just offered help. I love you all.

Stan

Funeral Today

Hello, Again.

Harriet asked me to post a some directions to the church for people coming from the Westside. That's easy, get on the 134 East, exit at Orange Grove Blvd./Colorado Blvd.,
go left two blocks at the light and the church is on the left.

I look forward to seeing you all at the Church at 5, but plan on arriving early to allow for parking and getting situated.

Love to all.

Stan

Memorial Service Thoughts, Notes

I would like to get an idea of how many people would like to speak at Andrea's service, so if you are so inclined, please comment or send me an email. I'm told it can be dangerous to make such requests because some people make long-winded speeches
and the service will drag on for hours. So let's just say that if you have a great, short (3 to 4 minutes) story about Andrea, please share. Once we hit the two hour mark--IF we hit the two hour mark--we shall all cast a jaundiced eye at anyone who cannot realistically expect us to be rolling in the aisles or reaching for our handkerchiefs.

Secondly, if anyone has a great idea for the service, speak up. Maybe you went to a service somewhere and they did something neat. If so, we'd love to incorporate anything fun or Andrea-like.

Thanks!

Addresses

I've had a few requests for addresses in the last week, so here they are, albeit late in posting.

Our Address: 512 La Loma Rd. Glendale, CA 91206

Harriet Petrisky, 1335 S. Carmelina #8, LA, CA 90025

Stephanie Sajjadieh, 3530 Fairchild, La Crescenta, CA 91214

Joyce Johnson, Box 57228, Sherman Oaks, CA 91413

Memorial Service - Saturday April 25th - 5pm

Hello, Again.

We just finalized our memorial service time, date and place. It will be at the Neighborhood Unitarian Church in Pasadena, which is next to the Gamble House. I am pleased to have it there because Andrea and I loved the Gamble house, and the church architecture draws from that. Church offices are in a home that was also designed by Greene and Greene. Additionally, that church is the only one Andrea and I ever went to.

The church address is 301 N.Orange Grove in Pasadena, 91103

NOTE: RE CHILDREN ATTENDING

I would recommend that children NOT come to this memorial service. It could stretch to a three-hour affair with food/coffee afterwards, so most children would be bored, plus I think we will need all 275 seats available. I am nervous we will end up with an overflow crowd, actually, so if anyone cannot make it that day, I will be MOST understanding.

If any out-of-town guests need assistance with lodging please let me know.

Obituary - Sunday Los Angeles Times

Hello.

Andrea's obituary was in the Los Angeles Times today. Here's a link:

http://www.legacy.com/latimes/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=125994426

but the body copy follows (I kept it simple):

Andrea Petker Brothers, 52, of Glendale on April 9th after a long and valiant struggle against ovarian cancer. Born In Los Angeles, Andrea was the wife of Stan Bzura Brothers and a gracious woman of extraordinary warmth and generosity of spirit whose concern for others in all stations of life generated scores of enduring friendships. She was a longtime salesperson in the Los Angeles printing world who was recently given the lifetime achievement award from APALA. A Pitzer graduate who also had an MBA from Pepperdine, Ms. Brothers represented printers and paper companies and represented Schawk! Los Angeles at the time of her death. She is survived by husband Stan, son Jack, mother Harriet Petrisky of Los Angeles, twin sister Stephanie Sajjadieh, niece Olivia and step-mother Joyce Johnson. Details of a memorial service in late April or May will be posted at http://updateonandrea.blogspot.com


Jack and I just returned from a fun brunch and Easter Egg Hunt. It's been a quiet day, but very pleasant.