Afterglow...

Well, it's done. I made it through. WE made it through. When it was over, when everyone had gone, I sat in the empty room and cried. This chapter is closed on some levels and yet still unfolding on others. Life is not so easily compartmentalized, nor should it be, I guess.

I think the slide show was wonderful, but I didn't see a lot of it. My eyes were closed tight against the tears. Seeing those pictures of a young Andrea were just too much for me. The speeches were great. Each one had some wonderful moments, something unique. I guess I could have spoken longer, Andrea certainly gave me plenty of material to do that, but the length seemed right at the time, so I didn't.

I'm sorry I didn't videotape the event, for Jack if nothing else, but I will collect the speeches and save them for Jack, and that will be almost as good, so speakers please forward your speeches. I'll combine them with comments on the blog and make a wonderful scrapbook for Jack. A number of people who were close to Andrea did not speak, could not. I totally understand. There are things I cannot do, too. Others could not be there because business trips, weddings or something important interfered. No matter. In a perfect world everyone would be there. In a perfect world we'd have a perfect program. In a perfect world I would remember everyone's names (I botched only two last night, which is good, for me) and everything else would be perfection. But we live with the flaws, we have to. If you're Andrea, you just try to.

Thanks again to Linda, Curt and Charlie for the slideshow and display. We had some wonderful flowers and many people to thank for them. CJ Oliverson and husband Steve Moulton schlepped the urns and many other wonderful arrangements from Carpenteria.
We also had fabulous flowers from Harriet's friends Bettina & Blanche; Michael, Kate and Daisy Ross & Markie Post; Theresa Savage, Sharon Rinehart, Anna Torres & Yvonne Taylor. I hope I'm not botching a name or forgetting someone, but possibly I am, so if anyone is unacknowledged or I'm making an error, please let me know and I will make an instant correction.

Thanks to Lisa for finding the caterer and helping out afterwards with clean-up; to Lisa's daughter Natalie who helped Jack get through the evening, to Greg Stanton for the program design. Thanks to all who came from afar...who donated to Jack's college fund or sent a Trader Joes gift card or sent cleaners to our house or who helped in different ways or just offered help. I love you all.

Stan

Funeral Today

Hello, Again.

Harriet asked me to post a some directions to the church for people coming from the Westside. That's easy, get on the 134 East, exit at Orange Grove Blvd./Colorado Blvd.,
go left two blocks at the light and the church is on the left.

I look forward to seeing you all at the Church at 5, but plan on arriving early to allow for parking and getting situated.

Love to all.

Stan

Memorial Service Thoughts, Notes

I would like to get an idea of how many people would like to speak at Andrea's service, so if you are so inclined, please comment or send me an email. I'm told it can be dangerous to make such requests because some people make long-winded speeches
and the service will drag on for hours. So let's just say that if you have a great, short (3 to 4 minutes) story about Andrea, please share. Once we hit the two hour mark--IF we hit the two hour mark--we shall all cast a jaundiced eye at anyone who cannot realistically expect us to be rolling in the aisles or reaching for our handkerchiefs.

Secondly, if anyone has a great idea for the service, speak up. Maybe you went to a service somewhere and they did something neat. If so, we'd love to incorporate anything fun or Andrea-like.

Thanks!

Addresses

I've had a few requests for addresses in the last week, so here they are, albeit late in posting.

Our Address: 512 La Loma Rd. Glendale, CA 91206

Harriet Petrisky, 1335 S. Carmelina #8, LA, CA 90025

Stephanie Sajjadieh, 3530 Fairchild, La Crescenta, CA 91214

Joyce Johnson, Box 57228, Sherman Oaks, CA 91413

Memorial Service - Saturday April 25th - 5pm

Hello, Again.

We just finalized our memorial service time, date and place. It will be at the Neighborhood Unitarian Church in Pasadena, which is next to the Gamble House. I am pleased to have it there because Andrea and I loved the Gamble house, and the church architecture draws from that. Church offices are in a home that was also designed by Greene and Greene. Additionally, that church is the only one Andrea and I ever went to.

The church address is 301 N.Orange Grove in Pasadena, 91103

NOTE: RE CHILDREN ATTENDING

I would recommend that children NOT come to this memorial service. It could stretch to a three-hour affair with food/coffee afterwards, so most children would be bored, plus I think we will need all 275 seats available. I am nervous we will end up with an overflow crowd, actually, so if anyone cannot make it that day, I will be MOST understanding.

If any out-of-town guests need assistance with lodging please let me know.

Obituary - Sunday Los Angeles Times

Hello.

Andrea's obituary was in the Los Angeles Times today. Here's a link:

http://www.legacy.com/latimes/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=125994426

but the body copy follows (I kept it simple):

Andrea Petker Brothers, 52, of Glendale on April 9th after a long and valiant struggle against ovarian cancer. Born In Los Angeles, Andrea was the wife of Stan Bzura Brothers and a gracious woman of extraordinary warmth and generosity of spirit whose concern for others in all stations of life generated scores of enduring friendships. She was a longtime salesperson in the Los Angeles printing world who was recently given the lifetime achievement award from APALA. A Pitzer graduate who also had an MBA from Pepperdine, Ms. Brothers represented printers and paper companies and represented Schawk! Los Angeles at the time of her death. She is survived by husband Stan, son Jack, mother Harriet Petrisky of Los Angeles, twin sister Stephanie Sajjadieh, niece Olivia and step-mother Joyce Johnson. Details of a memorial service in late April or May will be posted at http://updateonandrea.blogspot.com


Jack and I just returned from a fun brunch and Easter Egg Hunt. It's been a quiet day, but very pleasant.

Post Post Mortem

Hello, Again.

I don't have information on the memorial service just yet because Unitarian church personnel have Good Friday and the weekend off. Check back on Monday afternoon for those details.

In talking with Dianne Kelly a few minutes ago, however, I realized that it was a mistake to have stopped posting. Lots of people want to know how Jack and I are doing, as well as Steph, Harriet, Olivia and Joyce. The answer is "Okay".
We've all had some time to cry, and will no doubt cry again, but we no one is breaking down. If they are, it's happening away from my presence and I am none the wiser. Jack has gone from asking where Mommy is to "when can we get a new Mommy"? He is outwardly unfazed, but at one point last night he said he missed Mommy. I told him "we all do" and had a brief dialog on the subject, then we went on to Legos or something else. I'm sure everyone has had some private crying time, but life does not stop. Today we sorted through Andrea's closet and drawers. I'm happy, and I'm sure Andrea would be too, to see a bunch of things go to Steph and Olivia. Harriet got a few things, as well, and Joyce wants to save a few Patagonia things when we go through the garage closets tomorrow. I took 26 garbage bags of clothes and shoes to the YWCA women's shelter store today. When the clerk saw how much stuff I had, she said "we're closed". I'm embarrassed that there is more to come, and that we have been making regular donations every few months anyway. Our Dear Andrea did not have many flaws, and I don't wish to alienate scores of female readers, but...well, draw from this what lesson you will.

I am doing fine, for the most part, keeping myself together, feeling pretty good about my mental state, talking about Andrea calmly and keeping my composure. Then something trivial sets me off and the next minute I'm not so composed any more. But I do recover fast and soon I'm calm and collected again. There's lots to keep me busy at the moment, and lots of plans and planning, which is good. We are transitioning from an Andrea-centric existence to I don't know what.

This is just a partial post, but I will add to this as thoughts occur. I'd like to get it online ASAP, so I'll stop here for now.

Thanks again for all the many forms of love sent our way. No more food, though, please. We have enough for a couple weeks now, but more importantly, my health insurance rates will be partly based on my cholesterol levels in a few months, so I need to eat well starting in...oh, two weeks.