Talk, Talk

Good Morning.

For some reason, Andrea has been talking a lot in the last 24 hours. Sometimes it made sense, as when she was talking to someone present, and sometimes it did not. But even when she was talking to someone, she could veer off course and start talking about non-sensical things. Last night she began talking, saying something every thirty seconds to a minute and it continued all night long and into the morning. It is often hard to understand Andrea now, as she is so weak and her mouth is often dry. It was even harder to understand her when she talked in her sleep. I did catch snippets though: "The bed is at an angle"; "why am I getting oxygen through the ear"; "I want to go peacefully"; "You can't do that inside the box"...
I assume this went on all night because she was doing it at 11 when I went to bed and she was doing it when I woke at 4am.

This morning, finally, she is comfortable, but I did give her a small dose of methadone when she started complaining about pain in her chest. Prior to that I moved her onto her side for a half-hour or so and massaged her back and legs lightly. Over the course of the morning I got called into the room at least twenty times to fuss with her pillows, the oxygen tube, ice water, glasses, phone, her position, etc. I finally told her I was starting to feel sympathetic to Norman Bates (The son in "Psycho").

So Ms. A is doing okay as I write. The nurse will be here in a couple hours and
we'll---

Stop the press. I just got called back into the bedroom because Andrea wanted to learn the cookie recipe on the bathroom door. Hmmm. I guess the methadone is kicking in. Andrea also said she was feeling a little queasy, so I guess we'll be back on the
phenergan track.

=====================

4pm

Nurse Linda came and went, and Andrea is napping. Nausea is not an issue at the moment, and I didn't give her any phenergan. We went over meds and discussed Andrea's breathing difficulties, state of mind, condition, but I don't think we learned that much on those scores. We may change a few dosages or meds. I asked how much Trinity would do in a final week scenario. If, for instance, Andrea needed intravenous drugs would a nurse come by twice a day? Apparently not, but one would stay 8 hours or she would have round the clock care, if necessary. So that eased my mind a little. I don't think there will be a dramatic end, though. I suspect, rather, and hope, that she will be medicated to the point where she's comfortable and pass away quietly. I'm dreading the moment when I find her no longer breathing, but I also know it will be a moment of release and relief. Andrea asked Linda to have the social worker come by for a visit, so I'm sure similar thoughts are in her mind. At one point today she said she didn't want to go on. She may have said "I'm ready to stop". I can't remember the exact words now, but we discussed how she was feeling and the meaning was clear.

Deep breath...

We'll see how she's feeling later and I'll write if anything of note happens.