Hi, All.
I started this morning's post last night, so it mistakenly says "Monday" above the "Thanks, Patagonia People" at the bottom of this post, but I was writing about this morning.
We had a good day today. A nice visit with Nancy and no nausea to speak of, minimal pain and a fair amount of lucidity, although Andrea just told me she had consulted with Dolly Parton about what to wear to some lunch this weekend, because, you know, it's going to be hot. This after we were talking normally about the night's pills and other routine things. Very different. When Andrea told me about the conversation with Dolly Parton she already knew it wasn't real.
So what WOULD Dolly Parton wear to a hot-weather lunch?
I don't know, but she might have a root-beer float, as Andrea did today. She had a sudden craving, so of course I was off to the store in a flash. I don't think she drank much, but she said it was good.
Ms. Brothers declined an Ambien tonight, but I still have a slight headache, so maybe I'll take something.
Sleep well.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thanks, Patagonia People
Good Morning.
First off, we are/I am remiss in not acknowledging some very generous donations by friends at Patagonia who have covered the costs of making the "Life Chronicles" video. Extra thanks to Val Franco who set this up, too. I was going to send a check after I got the still photos ready to add to the final video, but I haven't gotten my act together on this task yet. So much to go through. Now I guess that check will be an extra donation, but it's worth it for Jack and others to come to have that video, so thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.
The latest Andrea news is a mixed bag. Andrea started having nausea issues around 7 last night and vomited around 8. I gave her an Ativan, but she stayed awake or somewhat awake for the next few hours. I think her body wanted to sleep, but she wanted to watch "House" and "The Closer". She drifted off during the latter show, and I went to bed shortly after. I woke a little before 2am either because Andrea was talking in her sleep or I was getting a headache. In any event, Andrea continued talking almost non-stop for the next two hours. Food, work (a constant theme), cancer, friends. After two hours I split an Ambien and popped half in her mouth and half in mine. I slept until 6:30, but Andrea is still sleeping at almost 9:30. We shall see what the rest of the day brings.
First off, we are/I am remiss in not acknowledging some very generous donations by friends at Patagonia who have covered the costs of making the "Life Chronicles" video. Extra thanks to Val Franco who set this up, too. I was going to send a check after I got the still photos ready to add to the final video, but I haven't gotten my act together on this task yet. So much to go through. Now I guess that check will be an extra donation, but it's worth it for Jack and others to come to have that video, so thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.
The latest Andrea news is a mixed bag. Andrea started having nausea issues around 7 last night and vomited around 8. I gave her an Ativan, but she stayed awake or somewhat awake for the next few hours. I think her body wanted to sleep, but she wanted to watch "House" and "The Closer". She drifted off during the latter show, and I went to bed shortly after. I woke a little before 2am either because Andrea was talking in her sleep or I was getting a headache. In any event, Andrea continued talking almost non-stop for the next two hours. Food, work (a constant theme), cancer, friends. After two hours I split an Ambien and popped half in her mouth and half in mine. I slept until 6:30, but Andrea is still sleeping at almost 9:30. We shall see what the rest of the day brings.
12 O'clock High
Hello, Again.
Yes, "12 O'colock high". And 10 and 11 and 1 and 2. I guess I overdid the medication this morning because our gal was high all day. There were moments of lucidity, but Andrea was seeing things all day long. Examples: "Did you bring the cookies to work?".."Weren't there two sticks of butter on the night table"..."Did you see those birds fly over" and on and on. The good thing is that there has been no pain and no nausea all day long. I think we can cut back on the medication and bring her down a little. I'll just have to figure out what the right dosage is for each of the three drugs she's getting that can cause hallucinations. It HAS been amusing, and I'm so glad we have a day without pain, but we do want the real Andrea back. Or maybe Andrea after a glass of wine.
Yes, "12 O'colock high". And 10 and 11 and 1 and 2. I guess I overdid the medication this morning because our gal was high all day. There were moments of lucidity, but Andrea was seeing things all day long. Examples: "Did you bring the cookies to work?".."Weren't there two sticks of butter on the night table"..."Did you see those birds fly over" and on and on. The good thing is that there has been no pain and no nausea all day long. I think we can cut back on the medication and bring her down a little. I'll just have to figure out what the right dosage is for each of the three drugs she's getting that can cause hallucinations. It HAS been amusing, and I'm so glad we have a day without pain, but we do want the real Andrea back. Or maybe Andrea after a glass of wine.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Same old Same old...
Another difficult day, though Andrea has been sleeping for the last couple hours with the help of phenergan, marinol and methadone. She was nauseous from the moment she woke, but she did sleep through the night. She also complained of shortness of breath/difficulty with breathing and is worried about the trend. Will it get to the point where she has to struggle to take a breath? It is possible we'll need to up the drug amounts to keep her comfortable. We did move her back into the bedroom, which took some logistical planning, a wheelchair and a break. The hospital bed just didn't work out that well. The mattress is not comfortable and the adjustments are problematic. It is a little easier for Jack and I to carry on with our days if she's in the bedroom, but our convenience is secondary, if that.
No visitors today, but Joyce came by for a couple hours while I took Jack out. We'll see how she does tomorrow.
That's it. I wish I had more positive news to report. I'll add a few lines tonight if Andrea feels any better.
No visitors today, but Joyce came by for a couple hours while I took Jack out. We'll see how she does tomorrow.
That's it. I wish I had more positive news to report. I'll add a few lines tonight if Andrea feels any better.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday
This Saturday has not turned out as I'd hoped, but how much can you expect from a day that has the word "turd" spelled out right in the middle of it? Okay, that was a bit much, but the day hasn't been very kind to Andrea. She did get a little visiting in this morning, but she's been sore and/or uncomfortable a good part of the day and thrown up three times. I'm finally understanding where a good part of the nausea comes from: the device implanted in her stomach. There seems to be a bulb of sorts inside the stomach and anytime it moves Andrea experiences some nausea. Other factors are at work, but any movement of the device just seems to trigger a reaction. I will go online later and see what others have experienced.
So it has not been a great day. Sarah S. kindly came by again while Jack and I went to a Tee-ball game. Lynne and Karen O'neil stopped by for a low-key hour, also. And Steph and Eric hung out for a good part of the afternoon. It took all three of us to move Andrea off her bed and into the recliner while we changed her mattress. Not sure if she'll be any happier with the change, but "we'll see" (as my mother said a thousand times).
What else? Another prescription for nausea arrives late tonight. Phenergan. It may work similarly to Ativan (nausea relief at the expense of wakefulness), but..."we'll see". Andrea is sleeping now (6pm) and has been sleeping for the past couple hours. I suspect she's down for the night, but sometimes she surprises me.
Hope your Saturday is a happy one.
S
===============
10:15
Andrea woke at 8 and vomited several times. Phenergan suppositories arrived and were duly inserted. Andrea drifted back to sleep but woke a few times and asked non-sensical questions, in one case something about a book. In another she said something about "wonderful colors". I hope her dreams are happy ones. Yours too.
-o0o-
So it has not been a great day. Sarah S. kindly came by again while Jack and I went to a Tee-ball game. Lynne and Karen O'neil stopped by for a low-key hour, also. And Steph and Eric hung out for a good part of the afternoon. It took all three of us to move Andrea off her bed and into the recliner while we changed her mattress. Not sure if she'll be any happier with the change, but "we'll see" (as my mother said a thousand times).
What else? Another prescription for nausea arrives late tonight. Phenergan. It may work similarly to Ativan (nausea relief at the expense of wakefulness), but..."we'll see". Andrea is sleeping now (6pm) and has been sleeping for the past couple hours. I suspect she's down for the night, but sometimes she surprises me.
Hope your Saturday is a happy one.
S
===============
10:15
Andrea woke at 8 and vomited several times. Phenergan suppositories arrived and were duly inserted. Andrea drifted back to sleep but woke a few times and asked non-sensical questions, in one case something about a book. In another she said something about "wonderful colors". I hope her dreams are happy ones. Yours too.
-o0o-
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday
The name Friday comes from the Old English frigedæg, meaning the day of Frige the Anglo-Saxon form of Frigg, a West Germanic translation of Latin dies Veneris, "day (of the planet) Venus." However, in most Germanic languages the day is named after Freyja—such as Frīatag in Old High German, Freitag in Modern German, Freyjudagr in Old Norse, Vrijdag in Dutch, Fredag in Swedish, Norwegian, and Danish—but Freyja and Frigg are frequently identified with each other.
The word for Friday in most Romance languages is derived from Latin dies Veneris, "day (of the planet) Venus" (a translation of Greek Aphrodites hemera) such as vendredi in French, venerdì in Italian, viernes in Spanish, and vineri in Romanian. In most of the Indian languages, Friday is Shukravar (or a derived variation of Sukravar), named for Shukra, the Sanskrit name of the planet Venus. In other Indo-European languages the day is not related to the planet Venus. Russian uses an ordinal number for this day of the week-- piatnítsa, meaning "fifth." Similarly, the Portuguese is sexta-feira, the sixth day. ....
Okay, lesson over. This IS Friday, so I don't see how anyone could possibly accuse me of padding this post. Actually, I'm stalling. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this day did not start out well. I better just get on with it. Andrea woke with a lot of pain in her chest, which got worse when she took a deep breath. I gave her a bigger dose of methadone and a dilaudid, but she still was in quite a bit of pain for hours. In addition, she said her shoulderblade hurt. I decided we need to get her out to the hospital bed in the living room for a change of scenery, a different mattress, a more easily adjustable bed and a kind of air bed that uses a pump to stimulate parts of the body in waves or something so as to reduce the chances of getting bed sores. Moving Andrea was a short ordeal, but we used a wheelchair and I enlisted Lynne's help to get her moved without extra pain. And there she lies now, talking with Judy and Mary Ellen, but for how long I'm not sure. She seemed kind of dopey to me a few minutes ago.
A nurse came by a little after noon and checked on Andrea. She didn't have any explanations for the pain, but did take notes to give to Dr. Vielma (also known as Dr. Issac). We'll see what develops . I'm about ready to fall asleep, but I have to go get Andrea's car from the dealership and coach T-Ball at 4:30. Maybe I can fall asleep for a few minutes...
More later.
Today did not start or
The word for Friday in most Romance languages is derived from Latin dies Veneris, "day (of the planet) Venus" (a translation of Greek Aphrodites hemera) such as vendredi in French, venerdì in Italian, viernes in Spanish, and vineri in Romanian. In most of the Indian languages, Friday is Shukravar (or a derived variation of Sukravar), named for Shukra, the Sanskrit name of the planet Venus. In other Indo-European languages the day is not related to the planet Venus. Russian uses an ordinal number for this day of the week-- piatnítsa, meaning "fifth." Similarly, the Portuguese is sexta-feira, the sixth day. ....
Okay, lesson over. This IS Friday, so I don't see how anyone could possibly accuse me of padding this post. Actually, I'm stalling. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this day did not start out well. I better just get on with it. Andrea woke with a lot of pain in her chest, which got worse when she took a deep breath. I gave her a bigger dose of methadone and a dilaudid, but she still was in quite a bit of pain for hours. In addition, she said her shoulderblade hurt. I decided we need to get her out to the hospital bed in the living room for a change of scenery, a different mattress, a more easily adjustable bed and a kind of air bed that uses a pump to stimulate parts of the body in waves or something so as to reduce the chances of getting bed sores. Moving Andrea was a short ordeal, but we used a wheelchair and I enlisted Lynne's help to get her moved without extra pain. And there she lies now, talking with Judy and Mary Ellen, but for how long I'm not sure. She seemed kind of dopey to me a few minutes ago.
A nurse came by a little after noon and checked on Andrea. She didn't have any explanations for the pain, but did take notes to give to Dr. Vielma (also known as Dr. Issac). We'll see what develops . I'm about ready to fall asleep, but I have to go get Andrea's car from the dealership and coach T-Ball at 4:30. Maybe I can fall asleep for a few minutes...
More later.
Today did not start or
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday Morning / Evening
Good Morning.
We've had a good start to the day. Andrea is alert and chatting with Angela (from Patagonia)and hasn't mentioned pain or nausea except briefly after a bathroom break.
One positive thing I haven't mentioned is that Andrea is getting oxygen and it seems to help. She has one of those little plastic tubes in her nose and a machine tucked away in the closet pumping away. It seems to help with nausea and also makes breathing easier. We know the tumor/s are all around the stomach, creating pressure, and probably now the lungs, too, which makes taking a breath harder. Not a pleasant thought, but most likely a reality.
More later.
===================
Hello Again.
It's been a relatively quiet afternoon and evening for Andrea. Joyce stayed with Andrea for a few hours at mid-day, which allowed me to leave the house for a doctor's appointment and a quick half-hour at Helmut and Laura's in Hollywood (some of the nicest people I know and clients, to boot). A social worker from the hospice care came by to check in on Andrea, then Steph came by around 5 and hung out until 7. Andrea watched television for a little while, then asked to be hooked up to the oxygen again as she was feeling a tightness in her stomach. The pressure hasn't gone away as of 9:30. I gave Andrea an Ambien, so I'm hoping she'll sleep through the night. We'll see what tomorrow brings, besides a few visitors and T-ball practice.
So. Quiet is good. And no vomiting all day = good, also. Another couple days like this and I'll have to start posting vacation slides and mother's recipes (if I could ever read her writing).
Good Night
We've had a good start to the day. Andrea is alert and chatting with Angela (from Patagonia)and hasn't mentioned pain or nausea except briefly after a bathroom break.
One positive thing I haven't mentioned is that Andrea is getting oxygen and it seems to help. She has one of those little plastic tubes in her nose and a machine tucked away in the closet pumping away. It seems to help with nausea and also makes breathing easier. We know the tumor/s are all around the stomach, creating pressure, and probably now the lungs, too, which makes taking a breath harder. Not a pleasant thought, but most likely a reality.
More later.
===================
Hello Again.
It's been a relatively quiet afternoon and evening for Andrea. Joyce stayed with Andrea for a few hours at mid-day, which allowed me to leave the house for a doctor's appointment and a quick half-hour at Helmut and Laura's in Hollywood (some of the nicest people I know and clients, to boot). A social worker from the hospice care came by to check in on Andrea, then Steph came by around 5 and hung out until 7. Andrea watched television for a little while, then asked to be hooked up to the oxygen again as she was feeling a tightness in her stomach. The pressure hasn't gone away as of 9:30. I gave Andrea an Ambien, so I'm hoping she'll sleep through the night. We'll see what tomorrow brings, besides a few visitors and T-ball practice.
So. Quiet is good. And no vomiting all day = good, also. Another couple days like this and I'll have to start posting vacation slides and mother's recipes (if I could ever read her writing).
Good Night
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday
There's a light at the end of the tunnel, but boy what a long tunnel it's been. I guess the marinol didn't set that well in Andrea's stomach, so she woke at 2am with nausea issues and was mostly awake between 2 and 5 trying not to vomit. I gave her 1/2 a tablet of Ativan at that point, thinking she'd sleep until noon, but she woke at 7 am or thereabouts. Ativan having anti-nausea properties, I then gave her a decadron (also anti-nausea) and ritalin, figuring she'd be able to keep the drugs down, but it was not to be. She vomited within 15 minutes. In desperation, I then gave a cocktail of drugs via the...uh...alternative entry point: marinol, ritalin, decadron and dilaudid with a BRD suppository to hold everything in place. (For the pharmaceutically curious, I would have given methadone instead of dilaudid, but we only have that methadone in liquid form.) It seems to have worked. Andrea slept for a few hours and then said she felt much better. She's sitting up and chatting with Harriet and Alice as we speak. I even saw a smile.
So. No odd cravings and no weird effects from the marinol, except she did wake at 10 and try to phone Eric to tell him that she was bleeding in the stomach. It was probably just a dream she was waking from, though, and she went back to sleep. Perhaps the unconscious was telling her that all was not well in the stomach. Marinol IS supposed to be given with food (did I say that yesterday?) but obviously that's not an option, unless a tablespoon of yogurt or ice cream qualifies.
I'll post more tonight.
=============
Okay, it's night, 9pm. Andrea is drifting off to sleep with another drug cocktail inside her. It was a good afternoon and evening comfort-wise, but as I was moving her out of her wheelchair and onto the toilet her legs gave out on her and she sank to the floor. Apparently, Andrea can no longer even stand with assistance. It took a good five minutes to get her up on the toilet and she was totally winded by the effort. And depressed. It took a couple more minutes to get her into bed, and in the process she lay on the G-tube coming out of her stomach for a minute, which is not a good thing. She still weighs a hundred fifty pounds or so, despite legs and arms as thin as can be, so she's difficult to move around. I hate to think how much weight the tumor/s account for. Anyway, I will have to essentially carry her now. Perhaps a catheter is in store. We'll see. I just hope we don't repeat tonight's drama. If it does, I think we'll need to call in more and regular assistance from nurses.
Looking on the bright side, we had no more vomiting after this morning, and with any luck, none tomorrow at all.
Good night.
So. No odd cravings and no weird effects from the marinol, except she did wake at 10 and try to phone Eric to tell him that she was bleeding in the stomach. It was probably just a dream she was waking from, though, and she went back to sleep. Perhaps the unconscious was telling her that all was not well in the stomach. Marinol IS supposed to be given with food (did I say that yesterday?) but obviously that's not an option, unless a tablespoon of yogurt or ice cream qualifies.
I'll post more tonight.
=============
Okay, it's night, 9pm. Andrea is drifting off to sleep with another drug cocktail inside her. It was a good afternoon and evening comfort-wise, but as I was moving her out of her wheelchair and onto the toilet her legs gave out on her and she sank to the floor. Apparently, Andrea can no longer even stand with assistance. It took a good five minutes to get her up on the toilet and she was totally winded by the effort. And depressed. It took a couple more minutes to get her into bed, and in the process she lay on the G-tube coming out of her stomach for a minute, which is not a good thing. She still weighs a hundred fifty pounds or so, despite legs and arms as thin as can be, so she's difficult to move around. I hate to think how much weight the tumor/s account for. Anyway, I will have to essentially carry her now. Perhaps a catheter is in store. We'll see. I just hope we don't repeat tonight's drama. If it does, I think we'll need to call in more and regular assistance from nurses.
Looking on the bright side, we had no more vomiting after this morning, and with any luck, none tomorrow at all.
Good night.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuesday Night
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner. We had friends over for dinner tonight and I didn't even think about the blog until my head hit the pillow. Can't leave my loyal fan base in the dark, now, can I?
The last time I thought about the blog was somewhere around 4pm. I was thinking it's been a good day: a couple of short visits, some discomfort but no bad pain, and nausea at a mild level. A few minutes later Andrea threw up. Poop. I gave her some of the latest meds and she didn't seem too bad afterwards, visiting with friends for awhile and drinking ice water.
The good news (we hope) is that the prescription for marinol came through and the first pill has been taken. We won't know for awhile what the effects are, other than the listening to be-bop, wearing dark glasses and _______________(submit your own punch line here).
A common side effect is sedation, so we are going easy on the dosage so as not to put our gal to sleep. Your faithful correspondent will report tomorrow.
Good Night
The last time I thought about the blog was somewhere around 4pm. I was thinking it's been a good day: a couple of short visits, some discomfort but no bad pain, and nausea at a mild level. A few minutes later Andrea threw up. Poop. I gave her some of the latest meds and she didn't seem too bad afterwards, visiting with friends for awhile and drinking ice water.
The good news (we hope) is that the prescription for marinol came through and the first pill has been taken. We won't know for awhile what the effects are, other than the listening to be-bop, wearing dark glasses and _______________(submit your own punch line here).
A common side effect is sedation, so we are going easy on the dosage so as not to put our gal to sleep. Your faithful correspondent will report tomorrow.
Good Night
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, Monday..
Andrea is watching "House" as I sit down to the computer, a rarity of late. Usually she is too tired to watch TV at this hour, something I didn't anticipate when I called the cable company to order EVERYTHING but sports and the Playboy channel. She doesn't even watch TV in the daytime. HBO, Cinemax, Starz and everything else--wasted.
Well, despite the interest in "House", "wasted" almost describes the day. Harriet, Joyce and Olivia all came by for a visit this morning, and Bob Garcia from Schawk came by for a few minutes at lunchtime, but Andrea didn't feel that well all day. The new drug wasn't effective at curbing the nausea and we had to resort to dilaudid at one point for pain. Andrea LOOKED okay, but it was a struggle all day. I can't even remember if she threw up. I think she did, but the days have begun to blur together. I do know she had the container ready on several oocasions. I've asked the doctor for a marinol prescription to combat the nausea. That drug is extracted from marijuana, I believe. I wouldn't care if it came from Lemur piss, as long as it worked. We'll see what news the nurse brings tomorrow.
I did not accomplish much today, not that I have to, but it does feel good to have done something. Maybe after I write and put Jack to bed. I did some homework with the lad and we got through six books, but that's about it. He did have a playdate with Saaya, which was nice. Saaya has a little pink electric car. Jack apparently expressed some reservation about driving a pink car, but he got over it quickly.
Gabe sent a bunch of photos taken last week. I'm posting a couple here. The one photo of me looks like I'm giving the ump a serious bit of hell, but I'm actually congratulating someone on a hit. I'm sorry you can't see the collection of photos Gabe took while documenting the work of the Grameen Foundation in Ecuador and Bangladesh in recent weeks. Many of you know that this organization facilitates micro-lending in the developing world, but it is also my favorite charity.
Nothing much else of note today, but thank you Prudential Insurance for your check.
Good Night.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday
I just put some brown rice on to cook and that takes about 40 minutes, so maybe I can put that time to good use. (There's frozen Tikka Masala slowly thawing and warming in the double boiler, by the way, a gift from a visiting friend and reader--and you know who you are)
If Sunday is a day of rest, Andrea is getting it. She's been sleeping or dozing most of the day and is again as I write. The good part is that Andrea hasn't thrown up all day. The bad part is that she woke somwhere between 1 and 2 last night and felt nauseous again. She went back to sleep after chewing another Ativan. Sometime around 7:30 she woke and we had a conversation mostly with gestures that told me she wanted to use the toilet. I helped her over to the toilet, but she couldn't keep her eyes open, couldn't talk and seemed to have some odd twitching motion and a balance problem. She couldn't even drink from a bottle with a sports top, so I started to think something serious was going on. A mini-stroke, or heart malfunction or something odd. I got her back to bed and back to sleep, but the whole experience was a little unerving and I called off three visits today as a result of Andrea's diminished capacity to interact with others.
Perhaps Ativan causes something similar to hallucinations because early this morning she asked me who won the costume contest last night. Then she asked if Melinda had left yet (she wasn't here), and another time asked me to make some changes to the type in the box. I said I would, lol.
Andrea took a double dose of ritalin this morning, but it doesn't seem to have given her any get-up-and-go. Maybe the doctor has another suggestion.
Steph and Eric, Joyce and Harriet stopped by for lunch, which was nice. Harriet has developed the habit of emptying her wallet every other day for provisions, or imagined provisional needs. We could probably do quite nicely for two weeks on what is in the fridge and freezer, though.
That's it for today. Have a good evening.
s
PS: Just for the heck of it I posted a photo of Jack playing with his design blocks and one of Andrea's APALA award.
If Sunday is a day of rest, Andrea is getting it. She's been sleeping or dozing most of the day and is again as I write. The good part is that Andrea hasn't thrown up all day. The bad part is that she woke somwhere between 1 and 2 last night and felt nauseous again. She went back to sleep after chewing another Ativan. Sometime around 7:30 she woke and we had a conversation mostly with gestures that told me she wanted to use the toilet. I helped her over to the toilet, but she couldn't keep her eyes open, couldn't talk and seemed to have some odd twitching motion and a balance problem. She couldn't even drink from a bottle with a sports top, so I started to think something serious was going on. A mini-stroke, or heart malfunction or something odd. I got her back to bed and back to sleep, but the whole experience was a little unerving and I called off three visits today as a result of Andrea's diminished capacity to interact with others.
Perhaps Ativan causes something similar to hallucinations because early this morning she asked me who won the costume contest last night. Then she asked if Melinda had left yet (she wasn't here), and another time asked me to make some changes to the type in the box. I said I would, lol.
Andrea took a double dose of ritalin this morning, but it doesn't seem to have given her any get-up-and-go. Maybe the doctor has another suggestion.
Steph and Eric, Joyce and Harriet stopped by for lunch, which was nice. Harriet has developed the habit of emptying her wallet every other day for provisions, or imagined provisional needs. We could probably do quite nicely for two weeks on what is in the fridge and freezer, though.
That's it for today. Have a good evening.
s
PS: Just for the heck of it I posted a photo of Jack playing with his design blocks and one of Andrea's APALA award.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Cloudy Skies Today...
Hello, Again.
It's been a difficult day for Andrea. She vomited at 5am and a couple times later in the day, so the fight against nausea and pain continues. Problem is, we may be running out of ammunition. Pain is under control at the moment (via a dilaudid suppository when the methadone didn't help), but we're waiting on a call back from the hospice doctor about the nausea. Based on our last conversation with him, I suspect there aren't many drug options remaining. The only relief comes from sleep via Ativan. I just gave an Ativan pill that would dissolve quickly in the average person's mouth, but her mouth is so barren of moisture that it came out whole after a couple minutes. If you tried to talk with Andrea over the phone, you know that her dry mouth condition has made it hard to understand her, and sips of water only help for a short time. Actual drinking would worsen the nausea, unfortunately.
========
The word from Dr. Vielma is more Ativan tonight as needed and then Dexy-something will be delivered tomorrow. That's the "D" substance in the BRD suppository already being taken. I sure hope it works.
So as not to leave you on too bleak a note, a quick Jack story: This morning he asked if a tooth could come out for a dollar. I asked him if he had a loose tooth, but he said "no". I laughed and assured him there were many other ways to get a dollar.
I thought he had a good time at today's T-Ball game (he seemed very happy and all the emphasis is on fun), but he still says he doesn't like baseball. Hmmmm.
Good Night.
It's been a difficult day for Andrea. She vomited at 5am and a couple times later in the day, so the fight against nausea and pain continues. Problem is, we may be running out of ammunition. Pain is under control at the moment (via a dilaudid suppository when the methadone didn't help), but we're waiting on a call back from the hospice doctor about the nausea. Based on our last conversation with him, I suspect there aren't many drug options remaining. The only relief comes from sleep via Ativan. I just gave an Ativan pill that would dissolve quickly in the average person's mouth, but her mouth is so barren of moisture that it came out whole after a couple minutes. If you tried to talk with Andrea over the phone, you know that her dry mouth condition has made it hard to understand her, and sips of water only help for a short time. Actual drinking would worsen the nausea, unfortunately.
========
The word from Dr. Vielma is more Ativan tonight as needed and then Dexy-something will be delivered tomorrow. That's the "D" substance in the BRD suppository already being taken. I sure hope it works.
So as not to leave you on too bleak a note, a quick Jack story: This morning he asked if a tooth could come out for a dollar. I asked him if he had a loose tooth, but he said "no". I laughed and assured him there were many other ways to get a dollar.
I thought he had a good time at today's T-Ball game (he seemed very happy and all the emphasis is on fun), but he still says he doesn't like baseball. Hmmmm.
Good Night.
Friday, March 20, 2009
TGIF (?)
I'm becoming sympathetic to the writers from the Washington Post and New York Times who made up stories. When it's a slow news day (or the equivalent at 512 La Loma Rd.), I start to think that my readers will become bored and drop off one by one. Back when I had to choose stories for a television newscast, I had to select which stories from the newswires to use. Today's selection would look like the following.
- Former boss Larry Moses visits; leads Andrea through an entertaining conversational hour.
- Bags of Jolly Ranchers delivered; watermelon the hit flavor.
- T-Ball practice game a success; skinned knee hobbles first baseman.
- Nurse Linda visits; bad perfume on predecessor subject of discussion.
- Liz and Gabe return to Massachusetts amidst tears and laughter
--- Break ---
I walked away from the computer for an hour to make dinner for Jack and attend Andrea, who wanted to try a little food. We ran some mac and cheese through the Cuisinart, resulting in a glue-like paste that was not a success. Tried pureeing peaches, but I ended up with peach nectar. By the time I finished doing that Andrea
was in some discomfort/pain and no longer interested in food. Her stomach is bloated and the skin is balloon tight, almost certainly from the tumor. Also, I am now noticing a purplish rash that I didn't see earlier today. So things are going downhill quickly tonight. I gave some pain medication and suspect our gal is out for the night.
Jack is watching The Incredibles ("I've been thinking about them all day"). I'll fold some laundry, have some dinner and try not to think about the growing mass inside Andrea's mid-section that is making her skin painful to the touch. Even blankets can be uncomfortable. How quickly things go from lightness to dark. May tomorrow bring a return of lightness. We can always increase pain meds, but we don't want Andrea in a stupor, either. So that's how it is here: one hour at a time, one day at a time...
- Former boss Larry Moses visits; leads Andrea through an entertaining conversational hour.
- Bags of Jolly Ranchers delivered; watermelon the hit flavor.
- T-Ball practice game a success; skinned knee hobbles first baseman.
- Nurse Linda visits; bad perfume on predecessor subject of discussion.
- Liz and Gabe return to Massachusetts amidst tears and laughter
--- Break ---
I walked away from the computer for an hour to make dinner for Jack and attend Andrea, who wanted to try a little food. We ran some mac and cheese through the Cuisinart, resulting in a glue-like paste that was not a success. Tried pureeing peaches, but I ended up with peach nectar. By the time I finished doing that Andrea
was in some discomfort/pain and no longer interested in food. Her stomach is bloated and the skin is balloon tight, almost certainly from the tumor. Also, I am now noticing a purplish rash that I didn't see earlier today. So things are going downhill quickly tonight. I gave some pain medication and suspect our gal is out for the night.
Jack is watching The Incredibles ("I've been thinking about them all day"). I'll fold some laundry, have some dinner and try not to think about the growing mass inside Andrea's mid-section that is making her skin painful to the touch. Even blankets can be uncomfortable. How quickly things go from lightness to dark. May tomorrow bring a return of lightness. We can always increase pain meds, but we don't want Andrea in a stupor, either. So that's how it is here: one hour at a time, one day at a time...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Thursday Night Update
Darn those dry heaves. We got Andrea to bed last night with the help of some drugs, but she woke at 2am and had another episode. It was over fairly quick, but only because I got a half tablet of Atavan in her. She was sleeping soundly at 5am, so instead of waking her I used the eye dropper to give her the usual dose of methadone between her open lips. I didn't wake her at 7 for Ritalin, with the result that she slept until noon. I woke her up just a few minutes prior to a visit with Paul V. They had a nice visit while I made a quick run to Trader Joes. Later in the day long time friend Meredith stopped by, and 2nd cousin Chris Leavens (a talented artist and teacher) with very pregnant teacher/wife Adriana. Andrea slipped into another nap somewhere along the way, which was fine.
Liz and Gabe made a lovely dinner, with Steph, Eric and Olivia gracing our table. I wheeled Andrea out to join us for an hour or so before she tired and asked to return to her hospital bed in the living room. We had coffee there, lots of laughs and yet another go at the containers of luscious frozen custard sent from Wisconsin by the generous Steph Raasch. I think we're down to 5 containers.
And thus one more day passes. With any luck Andrea will sleep through the night and get the usual dose of ritalin to help boost her system through the day's guests. We'll be sorry to see Liz and Gabe go, but it's been another great visit. Gabe took some amazing photos, which we hope to post here soon. He shoots raw images instead of jpegs, which make it harder to swap easily, otherwise they'd be on this screen already. But it will happen.
Good Night / Good Morning
G'Day.
Liz and Gabe made a lovely dinner, with Steph, Eric and Olivia gracing our table. I wheeled Andrea out to join us for an hour or so before she tired and asked to return to her hospital bed in the living room. We had coffee there, lots of laughs and yet another go at the containers of luscious frozen custard sent from Wisconsin by the generous Steph Raasch. I think we're down to 5 containers.
And thus one more day passes. With any luck Andrea will sleep through the night and get the usual dose of ritalin to help boost her system through the day's guests. We'll be sorry to see Liz and Gabe go, but it's been another great visit. Gabe took some amazing photos, which we hope to post here soon. He shoots raw images instead of jpegs, which make it harder to swap easily, otherwise they'd be on this screen already. But it will happen.
Good Night / Good Morning
G'Day.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wednesday
Hi, All.
I had a headache yesterday evening and went to bed at 8:30 without writing anything. I'm better now.
Yesterday was another good day and a busy one. Andrea thinks the Ritalin is making a difference, giving her more energy. Andrea had nice visits with Lisa Durkin, Linda and Curt, Steph, Tammy, Olivia and Liz and Gabe at different times. Nurse Harriet came by, too.
I don't think Andrea napped, but she did sleep for a few hours in the evening.
Today is officially a no-visitor day. The phone rang a lot this morning, but we have it turned off in the bedroom. Andrea is sleeping now (noon). Last time I saw her she was looking at photos Gabe took at Jack's T-Ball game and during a visit to Jack's class.
Andrea said something funny during her last visit with Liz. The two were talking about the loving relationship (outwardly, anyway!) Andrea and I have and Liz started to tear up, whereupon Andrea remarked "I love to make people cry" and they both had a good laugh.
More later.
Okay, It's later. 9 o'clock, to be precise
Andrea had time and energy to go online and check our finances today (a favorite thing to do), so I put her in the wheelchair and brought her to the office. A series of events conspired to make the time less than satisfying, but she made the effort and went back to bed, fielding a long series of phone calls from while supine. Most of the rest of the day passed uneventfully, though the dry heaves were back this evening on a couple occasions. Even so, it was an okay day. We did get word of a special award being given Andrea tomorrow morning by a representative of the APALA, (an association of the printing world) so we have that to look forward to, plus a string of guests. I'll keep you posted.
I had a headache yesterday evening and went to bed at 8:30 without writing anything. I'm better now.
Yesterday was another good day and a busy one. Andrea thinks the Ritalin is making a difference, giving her more energy. Andrea had nice visits with Lisa Durkin, Linda and Curt, Steph, Tammy, Olivia and Liz and Gabe at different times. Nurse Harriet came by, too.
I don't think Andrea napped, but she did sleep for a few hours in the evening.
Today is officially a no-visitor day. The phone rang a lot this morning, but we have it turned off in the bedroom. Andrea is sleeping now (noon). Last time I saw her she was looking at photos Gabe took at Jack's T-Ball game and during a visit to Jack's class.
Andrea said something funny during her last visit with Liz. The two were talking about the loving relationship (outwardly, anyway!) Andrea and I have and Liz started to tear up, whereupon Andrea remarked "I love to make people cry" and they both had a good laugh.
More later.
Okay, It's later. 9 o'clock, to be precise
Andrea had time and energy to go online and check our finances today (a favorite thing to do), so I put her in the wheelchair and brought her to the office. A series of events conspired to make the time less than satisfying, but she made the effort and went back to bed, fielding a long series of phone calls from while supine. Most of the rest of the day passed uneventfully, though the dry heaves were back this evening on a couple occasions. Even so, it was an okay day. We did get word of a special award being given Andrea tomorrow morning by a representative of the APALA, (an association of the printing world) so we have that to look forward to, plus a string of guests. I'll keep you posted.
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Longest Day
Andrea lasted longer than I did today. She started out the day with a visit from Linda and a shower, then visited with Liz and Gabe before they went off to the Getty Villa, then Nancy arrived and Judy an hour later. The gals visited, had lunch (nothing for Andrea) and helped Andrea with some insurance issues. At that point I took a nap, but Andrea lasted until 5:30 or so. She is sleeping now (at 6:15pm) and I suspect she will sleep until tomorrow morning. I helped a couple clients briefly and got some badly needed lawn mowing and housework in, so I'll sleep better, too.
That's it. Nothing awful, nothing great happened today, although I think it's great when Andrea has a good day. Hope you did as well.
s
That's it. Nothing awful, nothing great happened today, although I think it's great when Andrea has a good day. Hope you did as well.
s
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Sunday
Laughter echoes from the bedroom again and again as I sit down at the computer. What are they laughing about in there? I don't know and I don't care. I want to hear more, more and then more again. The cast changes, but someone's always on the bed and others are gathered near in chairs. Andrea had her nap and may drift off again at any time, but she is surrounded by love, so nothing else matters right now.
It guess it's redundant to note that it's been a good day so far. Harriet, Joyce, Steph, Olivia and Liz and Gabe were here this morning to welcome Lily and the boys to brunch. Cousin Alison came later. I wheeled Andrea out and she lasted about an hour, then retired to the bedroom with Lily. She's been there ever since, but did manage a two hour nap or so in between the changing entourage of adoring fans. She's going to be hard to live with now, but I'll try to find a way.
The Queen had no pain to speak of today, but the G-tube in her stomach is uncomfortable at times. No nausea thus far. Andrea munched ice chips from time to time, but nothing else.
May tomorrow hold as much laughter and love.
It guess it's redundant to note that it's been a good day so far. Harriet, Joyce, Steph, Olivia and Liz and Gabe were here this morning to welcome Lily and the boys to brunch. Cousin Alison came later. I wheeled Andrea out and she lasted about an hour, then retired to the bedroom with Lily. She's been there ever since, but did manage a two hour nap or so in between the changing entourage of adoring fans. She's going to be hard to live with now, but I'll try to find a way.
The Queen had no pain to speak of today, but the G-tube in her stomach is uncomfortable at times. No nausea thus far. Andrea munched ice chips from time to time, but nothing else.
May tomorrow hold as much laughter and love.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Saturday
Hi, Everyone.
It's a pleasure to write for such a receptive audience. Thanks for all the nice comments you passed on. Okay, okay I will post info on Jack's Coverdell college fund account in the next few days. You'll have to send the checks to us instead of directly to TIAA-CREF, so I can allocate them to 2008 or 2009.
Andrea is doing very well today and in good spirits. She was cracking up Harriet this morning and had a laughter filled hour or so with my sister Liz and Gabe before we went off to Jack's T-Ball game. And, judging by the smiles on cousin's Alison and Susan face, their visit after we left was a great one also. Steph and Olivia were here for that, then all four went to lunch. Andrea slept for a couple hours and rested for another two. I am getting ready for dinner and a little more visiting this evening before Andrea's bedtime, which varies from 4pm to 8pm, depending how she feels.
I'm off to unload the dishwasher and make some pizzas, and don't say you're not jealous!
=================
Sat 11PM
Had a nice evening with Steph and Eric and Liz and Gabe. I got Andrea into a wheelchair for the first time and wheeled her out for a good part of the dinner.She didn't eat or drink anything, but she appreciated being there and just getting out of the bedroom for awhile. Unfortunately, she vomited before going to bed, but it was over fairly quickly and she went to sleep soon after taking half an Ativan tablet.
Birthmom Lily and her two boys are stopping by tomorrow for a brunch playdate. Lily has been great, calling almost every day to check on Andrea. One of the nicest things she ever said to Andrea was that she has no regrets about placing Jack with us, even with the cancer. I can't think of the right way to say how amazing that is.
More visits are in store later in the day, but everyone seems aware how tired Andrea gets now, so we'll work things out somehow. I know several people want to see her and are just waiting for the right time, so I hope we can schedule a few more visits
this week and then give Andrea a day off.
Thanks again for all the comments.
S
It's a pleasure to write for such a receptive audience. Thanks for all the nice comments you passed on. Okay, okay I will post info on Jack's Coverdell college fund account in the next few days. You'll have to send the checks to us instead of directly to TIAA-CREF, so I can allocate them to 2008 or 2009.
Andrea is doing very well today and in good spirits. She was cracking up Harriet this morning and had a laughter filled hour or so with my sister Liz and Gabe before we went off to Jack's T-Ball game. And, judging by the smiles on cousin's Alison and Susan face, their visit after we left was a great one also. Steph and Olivia were here for that, then all four went to lunch. Andrea slept for a couple hours and rested for another two. I am getting ready for dinner and a little more visiting this evening before Andrea's bedtime, which varies from 4pm to 8pm, depending how she feels.
I'm off to unload the dishwasher and make some pizzas, and don't say you're not jealous!
=================
Sat 11PM
Had a nice evening with Steph and Eric and Liz and Gabe. I got Andrea into a wheelchair for the first time and wheeled her out for a good part of the dinner.She didn't eat or drink anything, but she appreciated being there and just getting out of the bedroom for awhile. Unfortunately, she vomited before going to bed, but it was over fairly quickly and she went to sleep soon after taking half an Ativan tablet.
Birthmom Lily and her two boys are stopping by tomorrow for a brunch playdate. Lily has been great, calling almost every day to check on Andrea. One of the nicest things she ever said to Andrea was that she has no regrets about placing Jack with us, even with the cancer. I can't think of the right way to say how amazing that is.
More visits are in store later in the day, but everyone seems aware how tired Andrea gets now, so we'll work things out somehow. I know several people want to see her and are just waiting for the right time, so I hope we can schedule a few more visits
this week and then give Andrea a day off.
Thanks again for all the comments.
S
Friday, March 13, 2009
Friday
It was a pretty good day today. Since the doctor stopped the IV fluids there has been almost no nausea. The pain has been minimal or manageable, so that's a definite improvement. On the down side, Andrea does not have the strength to stand up or even shift around in bed unaided. Her mouth is constantly dry and the mental fog continues. Among the off-the-wall questions I've been asked in the last 24 hours are: "How did you get into this organization?", "Why are we in Phoenix?" and "Why are they doing a Christmas tree in March?" I do laugh and enjoy these comments, just as I found it so amusing that Jack said he wanted to go to Africa and have hot cocoa.
Still, Andrea got through the day and had pleasant visits with several people
The request for time with Andrea is unending. I am trying to work in people as best I can, but I think the visits have to get shorter, too. And maybe start to have people say "good-bye" to Andrea. I'll talk with her about that in the morning. If she gets so weak she can't speak, visits may be counter-productive. Anyone who has constructive thoughts on this can shoot me an email.
I removed the post about Jack's college fund. No one said anything, and people did ask, but it seems as if I had a hand out, and I cringed every time I saw it, so out it goes.
Lastly tonight, I want to thank everyone who wrote with Andrea stories big and small.
I know she was loved, but Jack doesn't, so I'll print out each one and save them for him.
Enjoy your weekend.
s
Still, Andrea got through the day and had pleasant visits with several people
The request for time with Andrea is unending. I am trying to work in people as best I can, but I think the visits have to get shorter, too. And maybe start to have people say "good-bye" to Andrea. I'll talk with her about that in the morning. If she gets so weak she can't speak, visits may be counter-productive. Anyone who has constructive thoughts on this can shoot me an email.
I removed the post about Jack's college fund. No one said anything, and people did ask, but it seems as if I had a hand out, and I cringed every time I saw it, so out it goes.
Lastly tonight, I want to thank everyone who wrote with Andrea stories big and small.
I know she was loved, but Jack doesn't, so I'll print out each one and save them for him.
Enjoy your weekend.
s
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Early Morning - Thursday
Wednesday began badly for Andrea. On awakening she tried to get out of bed by herself, fell and couldn't get up. I found her 20 minutes later at 6am, teary and upset on the floor. I gave her a shower to help wash the memory away, re-bandaged her, gave her meds and put her back to bed. We had had an agreement that she was supposed to summon me if she wanted to get out of bed, but apparently she couldn't find the button in the dim light of the room. No serious damage from the fall, but we now sleep with a light near her bedside and I bought a baby monitor to hear Andrea at all times.
The rest of the day was uneventful. A little visiting with family and sleeping, but we touched on some important subjects along the way. Basically, Andrea asked Steph and me if she could "let go". We said "yes", of course. I don't think she meant at that hour, but soon. Only she will know when that hour arrives, but I hope that with some new drugs we're trying she will be more comfortable and alert and we can postpone the inevitable. There was only one real bout of nausea yesterday, but it passed. We dealt with the pain by administering a little extra methadone. It worked, but it produces some mild hallucination and confusion. Andrea often doesn't know what day or time it is, for example. She asked if her bottle of water had a child-safe cap another time. I admit I've struggled with some bottle tops that were hard to get off, but at the time I don't think the cap on hers was on.
Jack and I had a talk about Mommy dying, but he was very calm. I was too, mostly, but it was clearly much harder for me than him. He knows, but he doesn't. A social worker for the hospice will be by late today. Maybe she can help explain it all.
I'm starting to think about an appropriate time and venue for a memorial service for Andrea. There's no rush, and seeing as how we are not religious, a Tea might be the most Andrea-like. Where to have a Tea for 200-300 people is the question. Anyone with thoughts on this is free to opine (stanbrothers@gmail).
Thanks for all your gracious comments on past posts.
Well, it's 6am and Thursday is breaking. We shall see what awaits. (Now why is it called "Thurs"-day?....Hmmm. I'm off to Wikipedia)
The rest of the day was uneventful. A little visiting with family and sleeping, but we touched on some important subjects along the way. Basically, Andrea asked Steph and me if she could "let go". We said "yes", of course. I don't think she meant at that hour, but soon. Only she will know when that hour arrives, but I hope that with some new drugs we're trying she will be more comfortable and alert and we can postpone the inevitable. There was only one real bout of nausea yesterday, but it passed. We dealt with the pain by administering a little extra methadone. It worked, but it produces some mild hallucination and confusion. Andrea often doesn't know what day or time it is, for example. She asked if her bottle of water had a child-safe cap another time. I admit I've struggled with some bottle tops that were hard to get off, but at the time I don't think the cap on hers was on.
Jack and I had a talk about Mommy dying, but he was very calm. I was too, mostly, but it was clearly much harder for me than him. He knows, but he doesn't. A social worker for the hospice will be by late today. Maybe she can help explain it all.
I'm starting to think about an appropriate time and venue for a memorial service for Andrea. There's no rush, and seeing as how we are not religious, a Tea might be the most Andrea-like. Where to have a Tea for 200-300 people is the question. Anyone with thoughts on this is free to opine (stanbrothers@gmail).
Thanks for all your gracious comments on past posts.
Well, it's 6am and Thursday is breaking. We shall see what awaits. (Now why is it called "Thurs"-day?....Hmmm. I'm off to Wikipedia)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sleeping, Sleeping..
A quiet day. The doctor saw Andrea this morning and got the G-tube fixed. She promptly went back to sleep and dozed most of the day. For Andrea night and day have merged. She sleeps or dozes most of the time now, and occasionally has brief hallucinations. Out of curiosity, I looked up a few poems about sleep, thinking I may borrow a line or two to lift the level of prose here. I promptly stole a few lines from Robert Louis Stevenson's "Land of Nod" and went off on my own journey.
From morning on through most the day
At home among my friends I stay,
My day is night, I glide the streams
Up the mountainside of dreams
I’m home and yet I am abroad
Far into the land of Nod
The strangest things are there for me
Yet strange again my own journey
As daylight fades and night draws near
My destination now is clear
And dreams once brisk slow to a creep
Along this final mile to sleep
From morning on through most the day
At home among my friends I stay,
My day is night, I glide the streams
Up the mountainside of dreams
I’m home and yet I am abroad
Far into the land of Nod
The strangest things are there for me
Yet strange again my own journey
As daylight fades and night draws near
My destination now is clear
And dreams once brisk slow to a creep
Along this final mile to sleep
Early Morning Comment
Good morning.
I hadn't looked back at the comments for several days, but just did. I'm happy to learn that this modest venue and my matter-of- fact writing is actually working out well, so thanks for all your comments.
Everyone seems to like the photo of Andrea I chose, which is great. I too think it captures her beauty and personality perfectly. It was taken last Summer at Yosemite. Now why would someone be dressed up wearing pearls and a black dress at Yosemite? Melinda knows, because we were either on the way to her wedding in the Park, or had just come from it.
From happy memories of the past I now fast-forward to the less than happy present. We had an unfortunate episode in the night. Andrea got up to go to the bathroom, lost her balance and somehow fell into the bath tub. She hit her head on the shower chair and was embarrassed, but no real damage was done, thankfully. It was a sobering moment. I will be hesitant to leave the house now unless someone strong enough to help her up is here.
I hadn't looked back at the comments for several days, but just did. I'm happy to learn that this modest venue and my matter-of- fact writing is actually working out well, so thanks for all your comments.
Everyone seems to like the photo of Andrea I chose, which is great. I too think it captures her beauty and personality perfectly. It was taken last Summer at Yosemite. Now why would someone be dressed up wearing pearls and a black dress at Yosemite? Melinda knows, because we were either on the way to her wedding in the Park, or had just come from it.
From happy memories of the past I now fast-forward to the less than happy present. We had an unfortunate episode in the night. Andrea got up to go to the bathroom, lost her balance and somehow fell into the bath tub. She hit her head on the shower chair and was embarrassed, but no real damage was done, thankfully. It was a sobering moment. I will be hesitant to leave the house now unless someone strong enough to help her up is here.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday Blues
7:30 and we made it through another day.
The day began slowly, with Andrea weak and fighting nausea. She was mentally tired as well, from the strain of day after day fighting nausea, weakness, swelling (her left leg is considerably larger) and pain. The weakness has gotten serious. At one point today Andrea was on the floor of the bathroom dealing with dry heaves. When she tried to get up she could not manage by herself, a new development.
Dr. Vielma could not come today to address the swelling and broken G-tube stitch, but he will be here first thing in the morning. In the meantime I have the tube taped tightly and immobile (with the help of an invention that yesterday's nurse said I should patent). We'll see, lol.
We had a visit from longtime friend Nancy Friedman to look forward to, but we knew, and Nancy knew, that much of the time she was here Andrea would just be sleeping. And that's what happened. Late in the day Andrea got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, a rare occurrence lately. Andrea said she wanted to push the limits (or something similar).
It is very hard to hear Andrea on the phone, so anyone who calls can expect to hear little more than whispers and a mostly one-sided conversation. I'd love to have her get her voice back, but it may not happen.
Cards continue to come in the mail everyday. Thanks to all who wrote. We also got the weekly disability check from the insurance company today, a minor highlight of our week. In hindsight, we wish Andrea had gone on disability earlier, but she liked her work and her clients and was functioning almost normally right up until the last hospital admittance. The only thing abnormal was her taking to bed almost as soon as she got home in the last couple months. I know it was a big disappointment to Andrea that she could not work with her old boss Vince, who started the a week or two after she left.
Jack had a playdate today and was happy about that. I put off today's work for another day and finished cleaning out the closet I started on yesterday. Talk about satisfying work!
Good night all.
from
The day began slowly, with Andrea weak and fighting nausea. She was mentally tired as well, from the strain of day after day fighting nausea, weakness, swelling (her left leg is considerably larger) and pain. The weakness has gotten serious. At one point today Andrea was on the floor of the bathroom dealing with dry heaves. When she tried to get up she could not manage by herself, a new development.
Dr. Vielma could not come today to address the swelling and broken G-tube stitch, but he will be here first thing in the morning. In the meantime I have the tube taped tightly and immobile (with the help of an invention that yesterday's nurse said I should patent). We'll see, lol.
We had a visit from longtime friend Nancy Friedman to look forward to, but we knew, and Nancy knew, that much of the time she was here Andrea would just be sleeping. And that's what happened. Late in the day Andrea got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, a rare occurrence lately. Andrea said she wanted to push the limits (or something similar).
It is very hard to hear Andrea on the phone, so anyone who calls can expect to hear little more than whispers and a mostly one-sided conversation. I'd love to have her get her voice back, but it may not happen.
Cards continue to come in the mail everyday. Thanks to all who wrote. We also got the weekly disability check from the insurance company today, a minor highlight of our week. In hindsight, we wish Andrea had gone on disability earlier, but she liked her work and her clients and was functioning almost normally right up until the last hospital admittance. The only thing abnormal was her taking to bed almost as soon as she got home in the last couple months. I know it was a big disappointment to Andrea that she could not work with her old boss Vince, who started the a week or two after she left.
Jack had a playdate today and was happy about that. I put off today's work for another day and finished cleaning out the closet I started on yesterday. Talk about satisfying work!
Good night all.
from
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Sunday, March 8
Well, we've had worse days. Another roller coaster day it was. Andrea woke in the middle of the night all wet in the stomach area. We thought that something had happened to her IV line, so I flushed it, re-connected and went back to bed. At 5 am we had a repeat performance, but she was obviously leaking profusely from the G-tube in her stomach. Upon further examination I discovered a stitch had pulled out. After some clean-up (I'll spare you the details), I taped the flange back in place, bandaged the area with extra gauze and a new white washcloth and called the night nurse. She arranged for the day nurse to come after 8 am.
The rest of the day wasn't bad, but there was some nausea and the usual result. We are eliminating some medicines that don't control the nausea and doubling up on others.
Harriet, Steph and Linda stopped by at various times. Andrea didn't talk much (She can't seem to get her voice much above a whisper), but the ladies all enjoyed watching a video made last Sunday of Andrea talking about her life with (separately) Jack, me, Harriet and Steph. Unfortunately she ran out of steam and never got to talk with Joyce or Olivia on camera.
The nurse's visit this afternoon was pretty much a waste of time. I do a better job of bandaging Andrea than she does, which doesn't seem right. And as I suspected, only a doctor can put in the stitches. So we'll have to wait until Monday for that.
It's is now almost 8pm. Andrea has had her nightime meds and is falling asleep as she and Steph watch some old episode of "House", their favorite show. This is actually the latest she's been up all week.
I'm cleaning a closet (I can't take all this excitement!) and Jack is playing his new Lego Star Wars video game (courtesy of Diane and Roberto).
Good Night
The rest of the day wasn't bad, but there was some nausea and the usual result. We are eliminating some medicines that don't control the nausea and doubling up on others.
Harriet, Steph and Linda stopped by at various times. Andrea didn't talk much (She can't seem to get her voice much above a whisper), but the ladies all enjoyed watching a video made last Sunday of Andrea talking about her life with (separately) Jack, me, Harriet and Steph. Unfortunately she ran out of steam and never got to talk with Joyce or Olivia on camera.
The nurse's visit this afternoon was pretty much a waste of time. I do a better job of bandaging Andrea than she does, which doesn't seem right. And as I suspected, only a doctor can put in the stitches. So we'll have to wait until Monday for that.
It's is now almost 8pm. Andrea has had her nightime meds and is falling asleep as she and Steph watch some old episode of "House", their favorite show. This is actually the latest she's been up all week.
I'm cleaning a closet (I can't take all this excitement!) and Jack is playing his new Lego Star Wars video game (courtesy of Diane and Roberto).
Good Night
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Saturday, March 7
Hello Again.
Another less than perfect day. Andrea wasn't feeling well at the 5am Methadone dosage, so she had a half-dose of Ativan, and ended up sleeping/dozing for the better part of the day. She was weak, had dry-mouth and could not speak that easily, so we canceled all visits for today. She rallied a little bit tonight and was awake for an hour, but lingering stomach pain (perhaps caused in part by a G-Tube stitch that pulled out) prompted us to use a half-dose of dilaudid at 7, so she is slowly going down for the count, although last time I looked in the bedroom she was watching tv.. With any luck, tomorrow will bring more lucidity. We have scheduled a visit from the nurse to talk about medications and stitch, but I am not holding out any hope for a huge improvement. We'd be happy with anything at this point. I just got delivery of a drug to pep her up a little, so we'll see how that works.
In other news, Jack had his first T-Ball game today. He didn't like his team's new St. Louis Cardinals uniform before the game. Afterward(s?) he decided it was okay. Jack knocked down a few ground balls and did okay at bat. For the uninitiated, they don't count runs or outs in T-Ball and it was laugh-a-minute and wild. Some of the kids don't yet know where to run, when to run, what to do with the ball and more. Having fun is the main objective and I think we achieved that. I say "we" because I am a coach.
I used the extra time today to do a little housecleaning and work. Exciting stuff. Stay tuned.
Another less than perfect day. Andrea wasn't feeling well at the 5am Methadone dosage, so she had a half-dose of Ativan, and ended up sleeping/dozing for the better part of the day. She was weak, had dry-mouth and could not speak that easily, so we canceled all visits for today. She rallied a little bit tonight and was awake for an hour, but lingering stomach pain (perhaps caused in part by a G-Tube stitch that pulled out) prompted us to use a half-dose of dilaudid at 7, so she is slowly going down for the count, although last time I looked in the bedroom she was watching tv.. With any luck, tomorrow will bring more lucidity. We have scheduled a visit from the nurse to talk about medications and stitch, but I am not holding out any hope for a huge improvement. We'd be happy with anything at this point. I just got delivery of a drug to pep her up a little, so we'll see how that works.
In other news, Jack had his first T-Ball game today. He didn't like his team's new St. Louis Cardinals uniform before the game. Afterward(s?) he decided it was okay. Jack knocked down a few ground balls and did okay at bat. For the uninitiated, they don't count runs or outs in T-Ball and it was laugh-a-minute and wild. Some of the kids don't yet know where to run, when to run, what to do with the ball and more. Having fun is the main objective and I think we achieved that. I say "we" because I am a coach.
I used the extra time today to do a little housecleaning and work. Exciting stuff. Stay tuned.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Welcome
Hi, Everyone.
I started this blog to let everyone know what is going on with Andrea. I will try and update it at least every other day.
For those of you who don't know, Andrea has terminal ovarian cancer. The cancer spread to such an extent that her intestines could no longer process food. Unfortunately, her body (mostly her blood) could not tolerate normal doses of chemotherapeutic drugs, mostly as a result of the stem cell procedure she underwent to beat breast cancer years ago. That procedure involved killing the bone marrow and rebuilding it. It worked, but because her marrow was once compromised, it never functioned as well again. Smaller doses of drugs were tried, but they were not sufficient to stop the tumor growth. We have a high degree of confidence in both the doctors Andrea was seeing (Cedars Sinai and UCLA), but there came a time when her condition was no longer treatable. We accepted that conclusion and are as comfortable with the ultimate outcome as we can be.
Andrea is now a hospice patient at home and receiving a variety of drugs to make her as comfortable as possible. She eats virtually nothing, drinks very little and is on an IV from 7 pm to 7 am. She's very weak and sleeps much of the day. Fighting nausea is a daily battle, which she often loses. We are trying different medications, but so far nothing we have found works well.
We've been getting 20 to 30 phone calls a day asking about Andrea, which is wonderful but overwhelming. Andrea doesn't have the energy to make many phone calls or see everyone she would like to. Some days she doesn't want to see anyone, she just wants to sleep. She doesn't eat, read, watch television or do much of anything except doze or talk with whoever is visiting. Even on good days (a relative term) Andrea only sips a small amount of juice or broth at a time. As a result, she is losing weight slowly.
Today, Friday the 6th, Andrea woke a few times but drifted back off to sleep and didn't get out of bed until close to noon. Harriet came by around 9:30 and a nurse came by around 10:30. Diane and Roberto are here from Idaho and visited with Andrea from late morning until 3pm---a good day. Niece Olivia stopped by to chat, as did friend Judy. I worked until almost 2 and then joined everyone in the living room (we have a hospital bed set up there). Steph stopped by around 2 and stayed until Andrea fell asleep around 3 or 3:30. A few hours later Andrea woke in some pain, she took some dilaudid, vomited a short while later, took some Ativan and has been sleeping ever since.
Tomorrow, Saturday the 7th, three visits are on tap (besides family), but I have advised people that Andrea may or may not be able to see them. It's hard to know how she'll be feeling ahead of time. There's a strong chance she'll be groggy.
I will add to this in time and try to update it often, but for now I'm just going to post what I've written. I know how many of you love Andrea, and you know she loves you, but she is often overwhelmed by the number of calls, emails and visits. Thus, this blog. I will try and answer any questions you have and keep you informed.
Jack and I are doing fine, though I don't think the enormity of the situation has sunk in for him. I will be talking with him from time to time to gauge where his level of understanding. For now, he is excited by all the visitors and the opportunities for play here and at friends houses. We have had numerous offers of help and support, but the truth is that we don't need much. I am working less, but often find the change of pace and place welcome. And thankfully, disability insurance payments make working optional. Hindsight being 20-20, I now wish Andrea had gone on disability sooner, but who knew? Let this be a reminder to enjoy life while you can.
Okay, that's it for my first post.
Good night.
Stan
I started this blog to let everyone know what is going on with Andrea. I will try and update it at least every other day.
For those of you who don't know, Andrea has terminal ovarian cancer. The cancer spread to such an extent that her intestines could no longer process food. Unfortunately, her body (mostly her blood) could not tolerate normal doses of chemotherapeutic drugs, mostly as a result of the stem cell procedure she underwent to beat breast cancer years ago. That procedure involved killing the bone marrow and rebuilding it. It worked, but because her marrow was once compromised, it never functioned as well again. Smaller doses of drugs were tried, but they were not sufficient to stop the tumor growth. We have a high degree of confidence in both the doctors Andrea was seeing (Cedars Sinai and UCLA), but there came a time when her condition was no longer treatable. We accepted that conclusion and are as comfortable with the ultimate outcome as we can be.
Andrea is now a hospice patient at home and receiving a variety of drugs to make her as comfortable as possible. She eats virtually nothing, drinks very little and is on an IV from 7 pm to 7 am. She's very weak and sleeps much of the day. Fighting nausea is a daily battle, which she often loses. We are trying different medications, but so far nothing we have found works well.
We've been getting 20 to 30 phone calls a day asking about Andrea, which is wonderful but overwhelming. Andrea doesn't have the energy to make many phone calls or see everyone she would like to. Some days she doesn't want to see anyone, she just wants to sleep. She doesn't eat, read, watch television or do much of anything except doze or talk with whoever is visiting. Even on good days (a relative term) Andrea only sips a small amount of juice or broth at a time. As a result, she is losing weight slowly.
Today, Friday the 6th, Andrea woke a few times but drifted back off to sleep and didn't get out of bed until close to noon. Harriet came by around 9:30 and a nurse came by around 10:30. Diane and Roberto are here from Idaho and visited with Andrea from late morning until 3pm---a good day. Niece Olivia stopped by to chat, as did friend Judy. I worked until almost 2 and then joined everyone in the living room (we have a hospital bed set up there). Steph stopped by around 2 and stayed until Andrea fell asleep around 3 or 3:30. A few hours later Andrea woke in some pain, she took some dilaudid, vomited a short while later, took some Ativan and has been sleeping ever since.
Tomorrow, Saturday the 7th, three visits are on tap (besides family), but I have advised people that Andrea may or may not be able to see them. It's hard to know how she'll be feeling ahead of time. There's a strong chance she'll be groggy.
I will add to this in time and try to update it often, but for now I'm just going to post what I've written. I know how many of you love Andrea, and you know she loves you, but she is often overwhelmed by the number of calls, emails and visits. Thus, this blog. I will try and answer any questions you have and keep you informed.
Jack and I are doing fine, though I don't think the enormity of the situation has sunk in for him. I will be talking with him from time to time to gauge where his level of understanding. For now, he is excited by all the visitors and the opportunities for play here and at friends houses. We have had numerous offers of help and support, but the truth is that we don't need much. I am working less, but often find the change of pace and place welcome. And thankfully, disability insurance payments make working optional. Hindsight being 20-20, I now wish Andrea had gone on disability sooner, but who knew? Let this be a reminder to enjoy life while you can.
Okay, that's it for my first post.
Good night.
Stan
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